Zodiac Times

God measures our time by Zodiac Clock. I am an astrologer. I know how to read God's clock. But it is my business what I do with my alotted time. This is my spiritual journey.

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Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

MY KINDER UNIVERSE

Posted by Ella Moss on July 21, 2009

dacha

    When my son was 1.5 y.o., I joined the majority of Russian community in NYC and rented a “dacha” in Catskills for a summer.

    “Dachas” are cottages in a small community of summer residents, located in rural areas, often by a lake.

    The cottages offer minimal amenities. “Dachniki” must bring with them bedding, pans and pens, and everything else that would sustain them for 2 months of mostly outdoor living.

    Summers in NYC tend to be hot and humid. Working parents must either send their kids to camps or hire babysitters (could be more expensive). When kids are too young for camps, it could be especially hard on parents, as I quickly found out.

    Luckily, someone suggested a “dacha”. I packed half of my apartment and the kid, and off to the woods I went.

    Of course, I could not afford to spend the whole summer here, so we have arranged 2-weeks shifts with all the relatives we could find.

    On dachas, kids and parents enjoy the company and freedom (there is no need to watch them every second, as they play in the meadows of an enclosed community, with plenty of friendly adults seeing their every move).

    I fell in love with the lazy summer days by the lake, and could no longer contemplate a summer without dacha.

    Of course, once my son was old enough for summer camp, we cut the season to a month (arranging shifts with relatives was too complicated), and for 3 weeks in August our son would shuttle daily to Nyak from NYC, where his day camp was located.

    We could afford this kind of summer kid-care thanks to tax returns on my husband’s w-2 income. My business has been too tiny to afford anything like that.

    Even though my husband and I separated 2 yrs ago, we kept filing jointly specifically for this purpose.

    But as of this January, he has been laid off, and there are not going to be any tax returns for us next year.

    I was coming this July to my little heaven in Catskills, knowing that this  was to be the last time.

    As my stay here began nearing the end (this Sunday we are leaving), I began to be more and more upset.

    I was trying to imagine a summer with no dacha or summer camp:

    My son would have to tag along to my work (and I work all over the city) every day. Of course, he would practice reading in Russian on the subway, and then quietly play his DS while I work, and then we would visit our park in the evening.

    On weekends, we could go to beaches on Brighton Beach, Long Island or Staten Island. It would be hot, and the water would be cold and dirty…

    It would be a very lonely summer for him (all his friends are going to be away on dachas and in camps, but life is life, right?

    I thought about getting a dog to brighten his days, but how would we take a puppy to my work? – Scratch that…

    Last night, thinking of all that, I could not sleep, so I went out on my porch to have a cigarette.

    The lake at dawn was simmering, birds were having a big breakfast, while chirping away, and the beauty of all that was breath-taking.

    IMG_0145

    “I cannot give this up”, I thought. “In fact, for years now my brain has been working over-time to find a way for me to live like that a year round.

    This dacha is taylor-made for me by God: I’ve got the best view of the lake from my porch. I have a deck to do my yoga on. I can go for a swim without taking even a towel with me – my cottage is 25 feet from the incredible pristine spring water of this lake. People are great. My friends from NYC live on dachas a walking distance away. If I need company, it’s here; if I need solitude, I have it. I can work here. I have internet, and my cell is working here, so I can network and take orders.

    And only $3,000 stand between this, and a 2-months torture for me and my son. This is not a big money. $3,000 can buy 10 days on Bagamas, 1 week of skiing in Catskills, or 1 month here. I am certain that just like God found this perfect place for me, He can find this money for me too.”

    I prayed, and peace came upon me. That minute I knew, that I should leave a deposit for the next year. My Universe is kind. It knows no recessions, and is always ready to supply all my needs. This is what I beleve, and this is what I shall have.IMG_0194

    Posted in enlightenment, spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

    2 MORE LIGHTS

    Posted by Ella Moss on April 20, 2009

    1.

    She was down on her luck:
    Her husband left, she was laid off.
    Then a marshal came and saw her off.
    She put her possessions in a plastic bag,
    And holding onto her son’s little hand,
    She walked off to the world’s farthest end.
    And there she found a place to laid down,
    At the very edge of the town.

    She gave her son potato chips
    (That’s all she could afford).
    Then she dag into her bag and got out her coat.
    She placed it on the ground
    (Thank God, no one was around),
    And made a pillow out of the bag.
    “Tonight we are sleeping on this magic rug”,
    She said to her child and snuggled up next to him.
    And the breeze went quiet,
    And the street light dimmed.

    She sang to her child a lullaby:
    “Shash, little baby, don’t you cry
    Jesus Christ loves you and so do I”
    Breathing in the sweet smell of his hair.
    With her heart filled with love to the brim,
    She thought, “Nothing better can be out there”
    And, thank God, it is totally free!…”

    2.

    She looked at the stars: they were many and bright,
    And she hugged her child so tender yet tight,
    As the coat lift them up to the sky.
    There an angel stopped by
    The coat and gave them the sweetest of smiles.
    He knew them by name and they talked for a while.
    Then he said, hugging the child:

    “These stars that you see are reflections of lights
    That reside within each human heart.
    By kindness of others they’re kindled this bright.
    That is where Divinity starts.
    What you see is the very image of God -
    Every human’s inherited right.
    When kindness lights up one person’s heart,
    Everyone gets a little more light.”

    And He added, while sending back
    to the ground her magic rug:
    “What you think of yourself being down on luck
    is really you giving someone a chance
    to brighten his heart with kindness for once”.

    3.

    Startled and suddenly cold, she woke up
    and saw a man standing by the bus stop.
    Let this story be truthfully told,
    he was old, decrepit, short, fat and bald.
    Their eyes’ve met, and he said with a laugh:
    “Were you waiting here all night for the bus?”
    “No. This is my place”.
    “That must be tough.
    Your hubby should get you a roof that lasts”,
    And he laughed some more, enjoying his own joke.
    “My husband left”, she said, folding her rug.
    And they went quiet, both taken back
    To the time when their hearts broke.

    His was many a year ago,
    When he and his wife fought for months in a row.
    Then he left her and his son,
    taking off after the setting Sun.

    Since life was easier with feelings gone,
    he never needed again anyone,
    and that worked out just fine.

    But now, as he looked at her boy, golden hair and all,
    he thought of his kid and felt a jolt.
    So he surprised himself with the following words:
    “Come along. I need help with my pizza place.
    And for that I would give you the room and board.
    So what do you say?”
    She said, “Yes”.

    4.

    And that is how it came to be that she got a job and a place to stay.
    And that is how it is to this day.

    She waits on his tables, she cooks and cleans.
    She is always smiling. He always looks mean.

    But he pays her cash and buys her son toys,
    And seeing them smile makes his heart leap with joy.

    5.

    Then one day he got very sick
    And spent in a hospital more than a week.
    When he came out, he told her, “I’m old.
    I can measure the rest of my life in days.
    I’ve got to put my affairs in order.
    Please, look after my place,
    While I’m gone.
    I’ve got to find my son.”

    And that’s what he did.
    He saw his son
    From across the street,
    while sitting in the van,
    Then through a hole in the fence,
    Then through a window at night.
    His son was a handsome man,
    Tall, with hair wavy and light.
    He had a wife and 2 young kids.
    He liked cars and had a tooth for sweets.
    And, as he saw his son through a window at night,
    Putting his kids to bed,
    Kissing them on the forehead,
    The old man cried.
    Then he turned around and was walking back to his van.
    That is when he heard the voice of his son:
    “Hey! What’s up with you, man?!
    You’ve been stalking me all day long!”
    “I’m sorry”, his dad said, “I was wrong.
    I was wrong leaving you and your mom
    To fend for yourselves.
    I was numb.
    I was numb all these years.
    I have wasted my life on money and stuff.
    But I’m glad you’re making alright with your life
    Right from the start.
    Remember, my son, to be kind to your wife,
    For kindness keeps the joy in your heart.
    It makes men feel better than many a dollar.
    Sometimes it requires of men real valor.
    But that’s what it takes to become a man.
    You can have no respect for yourself until then.
    And I’m sorry I was not a man enough.
    So you’d better take care of the kids and the wife.
    Don’t worry about the stuff.”
    And, swallowing tears,
    he opened the van’s door.
    “I’m sorry”, he repeated,
    “that I could not be more…
    That I was not more kind..”
    And he disappeared
    into the night.

    His son went back to the house, scratching his head:
    “What was that?!…Was it my dad?!..”
    His wife stood by the kitchen sink,
    When he asked her to fix him a drink.
    Then he saw the tiredness set in her eyes,
    And he thought of his dad telling him to be kind.
    He hugged her and kissed, and said with surprise:
    “Let me do the dishes tonight”.

    img_01811

    Posted in poetry, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

    BACK FROM HEAVEN

    Posted by Ella Moss on August 4, 2008

    I am back from 27 days of Heaven in Katskills.

    God, it was good to take a brake from my real life.

    The cottage I rented there must have been built centuries ago. Basically, it was a shack. It did have hot water, a tiny shower and a very old gas oven.  That as far as amenities went.

    But it was right on a lake. There was a deck there, perfect for yoga. I would wake up, put a bathing suit on, go do yoga, and then swim, till I get hungry. Then I would come back to my shack, and have breakfast on my veranda with an awesome view of the lake.

    From then on, my day would be made by sun, laughter, great conversations… Then I would be playing with my son in the lake, or teach him swim, or go for blueberries hunt…

    Every day was perfect!

    I swear, I could live like that forever, and not get bored.

    But, all that goes up, has to come down…

    And so, I am here again, trying to make a living, sweating in the subway everyday like everyone else…

    But, instead of fretting about tomorrow, now I welcome it, certain that all is well with the Universe.

    I should be looking for a roommate to save money on rent. Instead, I am going to get a kitten for my son.

    After all, if I am to have Faith, I’ve got to prove it by planning for the best, instead of the worst, right?

    Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

     
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