Zodiac Times

God measures our time by Zodiac Clock. I am an astrologer. I know how to read God's clock. But it is my business what I do with my alotted time. This is my spiritual journey.

Posts Tagged ‘God’

COUNTDOWN TO BIG BANG

Posted by Ella Moss on May 23, 2010

In my article Financial Crisis is not over until it’s over, I’ve predicted some sort of disaster within a week of 8/1/10.
I also said that February and April of 2010 are the months where we can see the preview of what is about to happen.
Well, these months were abuzz with Greece predicament.
We also had an Iceland volcano erupting on 4/14 and paralyzing air travel all over the world, especially in Europe.
Then we had the Gulf of Mexico oil spill on 4/21.
All these financial disasters, man-made and natural are due mostly to Saturn / Uranus opposition.
Now, 7/22/10 – 8/12/10 we have the opposition of these 2 planets but with Jupiter added to the mix. Jupiter tends to exaggerate all situations greatly. Thank God, it is 2 degrees ahead of Uranus during these 20 days, which diffuses the situation somewhat.
But it also exactly squares Pluto, giving more power to Pluto’s hard blows.
Most importantly, Mars enters the mix on 7/29, acting as the trigger of events 7/30 – 8/5.
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto are all the hard hitters of the zodiac, and they all appear to battle each other during the outlined dates, with Mars conjoining Saturn (structure) in opposition to Jupiter and Uranus (sudden explosion), and they all square Pluto (power quake).
Now that’s in the sky. It only affects us if we have natal planetary points within their battle zone.
Unfortunately for us, Americans, we have one – it is Venus.
Whether the true birthday of the U.S. is on 7/2 or 7/4, American Venus would be hit.
Venus represents money, possessions and relationship in any horoscope, whether mundane or natal.
So as the country, we are bound to be hit. In fact, we are likely to be blindsided, thanks to Uranus, who likes to hit from behind when we least expect it.
What can we expect? Most likely, some kind of huge man-made disaster that is coming from Europe. I say so based on February and April events, that are pointing towards across the Atlantic.
We may be spared physical casualties, but are likely to be hit in the wallet with an unusual force. Discounted euro could certainly do that to us.
Of course, the planetary warfare is factual, while European disaster is my educated guess.
It can be worse. It can be a terrorist act that overshadows the WTC one.
It can even be war. Let’s not forget that the crazy North Koreans downed a South Korean ship recently.
In fact, more than a decade ago, I’ve bookmarked these dates in my ephemeris as a possible onset of another world war.
But always an optimist, I believe that mostly it is our wallets that would suffer. But since Venus also signifies relationships, our political relationships are also at great risk.
There is also total solar eclipse on July 11 that worries me, although it is only going to be visible in Southern Hemisphere and falls in 19′ of Cancer, which makes it seemingly safe for the U.S.A. But I came across an interesting article by a fellow astrologer David Crook, Total Solar Eclipse of July 11. Some of his insights make me downright scared.
In July, I am going to see my Guru, Sai Baba, who is like Jesus Christ of our times. He even brought Jesus Christ to me once in a dream that still remains more vivid than my so-called reality.
On 8/1 I am heading for the hills of Catskills (and I hope, I am not too late then).
I certainly do pray for all of us.
It would be good that whoever reads this post would join me in my prayer.

Now, for a light-hearted finish to this article, I’ve written something for devotees of Secret and Power of Attraction:

THE SONGS IN MY HEAD

In the fabric of time there is a black hole
That swallows dreams as we’re getting old

(It looks like a subway tunnel where all trains
disappear to when they are needed the most
It feels like the very familiar pain
of a body limb that’s been lost)

Once again I see dreams falling into the Void,
While stepping on pieces of broken hearts.
But the hopelessness is out of vogue
So I must hold onto sanity hard

I open my third eye at last
Looking for reasons present and past
I shout all out but silence inside
And I hear a song making grooves in my mind:

“Got to love, got to love
who you are
Got to love, got to love
where you’re at
Got to love, got to love
what you have
LEARN TO APPRECIATE”

If I could sing, I would sing right back
(not quite mad yet, but growing madder)
My other song on another track:

“But I do, I just want it better!”

Instead, I hear a strange refrain:

“Only wrong dreams are dreamt in vane.
Get away from the hole,
It’s not good for the soul.
Got to love, got to love
who you are
Got to love, got to love
where you’re at….

Posted in FINANCES, astrology, economy, enlightenment, poetry, politics, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

GOING CRAZY IN JUNE

Posted by Ella Moss on April 20, 2010

I found this little poem of mine, written on 06/09/04 but still quite relevant, and decided to publish it as a tribute to the upcoming Poetry Cafe edition:

1.
It is only beginning of June,
But it feels like the end of the world
That is certainly coming up soon,
As the weather turns hot
And the souls turn cold.

My money is gone, and so is love
And everything else disappears…
But my heart has been so light –
I’ve lost everything, even fear.

Or, maybe, my body’s been shed
With the very last tear drop.
God has caught me in His blue net,
And I am slowly going up.

I am dancing and dancing with God –
After all, it’s the end of the world –
And my heart has been just so light:
It no longer has something to hold.

There are drops of the warm summer rain
Licking nakedness of my soul,
And I deem myself finally sane,
Flying into the sky’s blue hole.

2.
Wait, God, wait! Can’t You see, are You blind?
There is my little boy left behind!
I have not lost him just yet,
But he’s losing me fast, can’t you wait?!
I can bear my losses, not his
I can bear my crosses, not his
Can’t You hear him crying at all?
Let me fall back in June, let me fall!

3.
There are towers falling with me,
and spilled blood smells a lot like the oil,
And young boy in Iraq whispers scream,
His red life sipping into the soil,
His dark skin slowly turning white…
That’s my son, only older somehow…
Did I sent him into the fight?
Am I responsible now?

No, my son is a three-years-old,
Starving and all alone,
Licking an empty bowl
That’s been empty for so long…

I am lost. Are we in China?
Texas? Afghanistan? Uruguay?

I cannot help him. I switch TV channel,
Eat my potato chips and cry.

I’m sorry, my baby, we’ve fallen
To the very bottom of June,
And the rivers of prayers are swollen..
But the end of the world’s coming soon.

4.

I am walking my son to day care.
He is holding my hand so tight!
“When you need me, I’m always there” –
That’s what God has told me last night.

5.
At the bottom of June, I am dancing with God.
I am asking Him questions, ‘cause I am His child:
“Am I dying, my Lord, or just changing my skin?
On what day have You thought of the concept of sin?”

“My child, I am only the Maker of Dreams.
Each soul wakes up, when it actually screams.
Still, I am your closest friend,
‘cause I am always there.
Right now, I’m holding your hand,
As you’re walking me to the day care”

Posted in economy, enlightenment, poetry, politics, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

WATCHING NEPTUNE

Posted by Ella Moss on February 22, 2010

In the bible, The Gospel According to John opens with the powerful statement: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
If the word was a sound (“Om”?), then it was a vibration, as all sound and other waves are.
Interestingly, quantum physicists now believe that the true nature of subatomic particles is wave (vibration), and that they only appear as particles.
In fact, The Unifying Field Theory reads like scientific explanation of the nature of God and Maya. According to it, the material universe is an interconnected web of quantum waves that operate outside of time and space within the zero-point field, which is empty yet filled with more energy than all fossil fuel on Earth. This sentence translated into a “human speak” means that all our vast universe is contained within here and now that produces all energy, visible and invisible – i.e. GOD.
Well, does it sound to you like Vedic Atman or Buddhist Zen?
I am not very familiar with Buddhism, but I am a student of Vedas, which teach that Atman appears as Brahman the Creator of Universes and Maya the Illusion. In other words, Atman is the zero-point field filled with inexhaustible energy that produces quantum waves (Brahman) which appear as particles of matter (Maya).
What all this have to do with Neptune?
For us, the Divine Beings who play the game of The Reality of Life on Earth which necessitates limited consciousness, Neptune represents the archetypal idea of ONENESS, and, as such, stands as a door-way between ONENESS (zero-point field) and Maya (life as we know it). It influences the chakra of the third eye, which is our door-way into other dimensions. Have you ever noticed that right before you are about to fall asleep, a spinning wheel appears before you? That is your third-eye chakra.
If you practice dreaming according to Castaneda or astral projection, you are very familiar with it. If not, you may have childhood memories of it. Children tend to be quite aware of that threshold into sleep.
Neptune does not rule sleep, but it rules dreaming, dreams and day-dreams. That’s why people with strong Neptunian influences in their chart have such dreamy eyes.
Neptune also rules music, this international language of the soul. And what is music but vibrations of the sound waves?
Now, let’s see what else Neptune rules:
• All kinds of illusions and illusionists (magicians, movie stars, con artists, etc.). What is the Major Illusion? Maya.
• All kind of psychic experiences and psychics (mediums, clairvoyants, ghosts and ghost-busters, etc.). All these experiences necessitate tuning into finer vibrations around us, such as mental and emotional fields beyond capabilities of our 5 senses and venture into other dimensions of Maya the Illusion.
• All kinds of chemicals, drugs and narcotics and their users (chemists, pharmacists, drug-addicts, etc.). While chemists attempt to alter substances existing in nature, drug-addicts attempt to alter their conscious reality, creating their own illusion (as separate from the consensus one).
• By the way, it also rules hypnosis and hypnotists, who help their patients to alter perception of their reality or bring forgotten memories to the forefront of their conscious awareness (my forte – past life regressions, for instance).
• All kinds of infectious, hard-to-diagnose diseases, and diseases connected with liquids in our bodies, with the exception of the red cells. This covers all auto-immune diseases, since those deal with white cells.
Liquids are easy to understand: after all, this planet is named after the Greek God of sea.
Infections are the invisible interactions between our bodies. But have you ever been emotionally infected? Of course! Sometimes it was an infectious laugh, sometimes it was “the crowd rage”, etc.
• Neptune rules psychic infections too, as well as psychiatric disorders of all sorts. Many are familiar with schizophrenia, a disease that produces visual and / or audio hallucinations (illusions).
Depression is harder to grasp, yet it is the disease produced by the ego’s delusion that its owner is victimized.
• Yes, Neptune rules victimhood, pity and self-pity. These experiences are born from the illusion of separateness.

Now I want to go back for a moment to the fact that Neptune is named after the God of sea, and so it rules all kinds of liquids from water to oil, as well as people who make their living from it such as seamen and oilmen.
My favorite yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda liked to compare God to the ocean, and humans to the ocean waves (with ego being a water bubble emanating from a wave). To me it jells perfectly well with the Unifying Field Theory of the quantum physics, where ocean would be the zero-point field that emanates quantum waves, which are your basic activated energy.
Since, according to this theory and all the great mystics that ever lived, all that we sense with whatever senses are available to us is really are clusters of energy vibrating at different frequencies and directions, so are we, the humans.
When we are born into the Earth Reality, we envelope our consciousness with different energies in different combinations. Astrologers know them as combinations of astrological elements and planetary vibrations. For instance, fire element has very high frequencies, while the earth element has the lowest ones. The amount of planets in each element creates a unique field of energy that belongs to the native and creates his / her very own psychological make-up.

Why am I putting this in? Well, it appears that Neptune rules the vibratory aspect of energy – the underpinning of the veil of Maya.

• Of course, Neptune also rules mysticism and mystics – the only people known to truly pierce that veil.

As you can see, Neptune is hard to pin down. It is the underpinning of our reality, yet it is our escape hutch from it. That is why people with a heavy dose of Neptune in their chart have such a hard time with our reality.
Take a look at musicians, for instance, the greater majority of whom are heavily Neptunian: they tend to be drug-addicts with spiritual inclinations and terrible family lives. No one can even imagine them holding a corporate job, which would require a serious adjustment to consensus reality. Neptunian people are incapable of such adjustment. They all are half-way into other dimensions.
Neptunians are natural dreamers as defined by Carlos Castaneda.
He divided human stock into natural dreamers and natural stalkers.
According to him, dreamers are people who have difficulties controlling themselves as being too fluid (Neptunian realm) and, while often blind to rules and regulations of the consensus reality, are lucid in other dimensions, such as astral plan, etc.
Stalkers, on the other hand, are control freaks, who may excel at our reality, but have hard time loosing up enough to allow themselves to venture into less shaped dimensions.
However, in order to master The Game of Life on Earth, one must get very good at both, stalking and dreaming.
In fact, stalking may be the only antidote to Neptunian influences. Stalking translated into everyday language means watching. The only way humans can resist Neptunian escapism is by watching themselves.
Huh?
Yes, watching our thoughts and emotional reactions in the most non-judgmental manner is the only way we can eventually distinguish the veil of Maya and remove it.
Even dreaming (a purely Neptunian exercise) is completely worthless and extremely dangerous without stalking (i.e. exercising control via watching). Without watching it is akin drifting in a boat without ores.
As we watch ourselves in completely objective impartial manner, we can eventually distinguish incorrect thought and emotional processes, so we can stop them at their tracks the very moment they begin to arise. This would eventually free us from the grasp of ego – the ultimate illusion.
I am writing this because Neptune has been gaining in power for the past 7 years, ever since it formed mutual reception with Uranus. In March of 2011, it is going to move into Pisces, its own sign, where it would gain its ultimate strength. It will stay there throughout 2025. Unless we remain awake through watching, we may fall into drug-induced stupor, as we medicate ourselves en-balk with narcotics and pharmaceuticals, or by putting on pink glasses en-masse and talking ourselves out of solving all present and impeding crises.
Of course, there could be positive Neptunian influences, such as rise in Compassion (please, do not confuse it with pity – another side of Neptunian coin), mysticism, and, hopefully, good music. Good music is akin to nada-yoga: yoga that uses sound to heal and emancipate. Never underestimate the power of mantras. They use the power of sound vibrations to transform or lift Maya – whose very essence is vibration. Remember, subatomic particles are waves, and God began the creation with the vibrations of a sound…
My worry is that Neptune is going to rule from the ocean of Pisces, while Pluto crushes structures of our societies throughout 2024.
In other words, we are heading into 14 years of confusion and uncertainty unmatched in known history. Hold on to your seats and start WATCHING!
This is how you may fare during those long years:
If you have Pisces in the first house and Capricorn in the 11th:
There is no longer a touch of reality to the way you see yourself and your relationships. Heartbreaks are likely to linger and you may find difficulties surviving fame / infamy that may come around.
You may encounter powerful friends or join important groups along the way though.
However, your friendships may suffer as well from manipulations of others.
If you have Pisces in the second house and Capricorn in the 12th:
Loss of money may dissolve your sense of self-worth, and credit is likely to be hard to come by, yet expenses are likely to keep on mounting. You may experience profound sense of isolation or simply spent large stretches of time in isolation. But if you ponder reality during such times, you may actually come close to the truth behind it.
If you have Pisces in the third house, and Capricorn in the 1st:
While miscommunications abound, and there are consistent problems with getting around town, your mind is getting steeped in mysticism.
You are also likely to notice profound changes in yourself and your behavior. As you find your empowerment, it would affect your relationships, and you are likely to find yourself better off one way or another.
If you have Pisces in the 4th house and Capricorn in the 2nd house:
Profound changes in your income may bring about loss of home / family.
You may find yourself quite confused for a while, with no clear directions for the future and not much of a career to speak of.
Hung in there, and you may find this rootlessness liberating.
If you have Pisces in the 5th house and Capricorn in the 3rd house:
This may be your most creative streak yet. As you hone your performance and grow as a great competitor, you may also transform your thinking and touch the mystic truth.
But do take care of your body as well, and drive carefully.
If you have Pisces in the 6th house and Capricorn in the 4th house:
Hunging on to any sense of normalcy is going to be tough during these years, so do not acerbate your situation with drugs or alcohol (and you sure are to be tempted).
Your body is already going to struggle with mysterious viruses or allergies, making your employment situation more uncertain then ever.
You may find your home / family to be transformed, and career matters to be difficult.
But you should keep on looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.
If you have Pisces in the 7th house and Capricorn in the 5th house:
Heartbreaks and unrealistic relationships (if any) are likely to become a new norm during these long years. Children issues may become difficult.
However, these may be the years of profound creativity or business transformation.
Just stay away from gambling.
If you have Pisces in the 8th house and Capricorn in the 6nd house:
These are going to be the years when you should be constantly on look out for con job.
Even though you may find your health faltering and / or job situation growing increasingly difficult amidst power struggles, do not think for a minute that there is someone out there you could rely on.
Be vigilant, and you may get through barely bruised.
If you have Pisces in the 9th house and Capricorn in the 7th house:
Profound changes in your relationships affect the way you view yourself and the world in general. Everything serves to deepen your mysticism, and doors do not just open – they seem to dissolve!
If you have Pisces in the 10th house and Capricorn in the 8th house:
As you are going to drift through life with no particular direction in mind and growing more rootless by the minute, do not forget to watch out for predators. Avoid putting yourself in a position of dependency as much as you can.
Yes, there is still a great likelyhood that you are going to be bruised either physically or emotionally anyway. But if you are not going to give your power away to your offender, you are not going to get victimized.
If you have Pisces in the 11th house and Capricorn in the 9th house:
During these years it is going to be hard to see who your true friend is.
But it is up to you, if your mind is going to grow hardened with fanaticism, or you are finally going to break through the veil of Maya.
You are better off having your mystical pursuits on your own, so you don’t become prey to cult groups of any kind.
You are also better off staying closer to home during these years, and put off your pilgrimage till past 2024.
If you have Pisces in the 12th house and Capricorn in the 10th house:
You may have to fight off challenges in your career and on home turf.
But you may find time and time again the silver lining by diving into the sea of oneness and compassion.

Posted in astrology, economy, enlightenment, politics, quantum physics, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

MY KINDER UNIVERSE

Posted by Ella Moss on July 21, 2009

dacha

    When my son was 1.5 y.o., I joined the majority of Russian community in NYC and rented a “dacha” in Catskills for a summer.

    “Dachas” are cottages in a small community of summer residents, located in rural areas, often by a lake.

    The cottages offer minimal amenities. “Dachniki” must bring with them bedding, pans and pens, and everything else that would sustain them for 2 months of mostly outdoor living.

    Summers in NYC tend to be hot and humid. Working parents must either send their kids to camps or hire babysitters (could be more expensive). When kids are too young for camps, it could be especially hard on parents, as I quickly found out.

    Luckily, someone suggested a “dacha”. I packed half of my apartment and the kid, and off to the woods I went.

    Of course, I could not afford to spend the whole summer here, so we have arranged 2-weeks shifts with all the relatives we could find.

    On dachas, kids and parents enjoy the company and freedom (there is no need to watch them every second, as they play in the meadows of an enclosed community, with plenty of friendly adults seeing their every move).

    I fell in love with the lazy summer days by the lake, and could no longer contemplate a summer without dacha.

    Of course, once my son was old enough for summer camp, we cut the season to a month (arranging shifts with relatives was too complicated), and for 3 weeks in August our son would shuttle daily to Nyak from NYC, where his day camp was located.

    We could afford this kind of summer kid-care thanks to tax returns on my husband’s w-2 income. My business has been too tiny to afford anything like that.

    Even though my husband and I separated 2 yrs ago, we kept filing jointly specifically for this purpose.

    But as of this January, he has been laid off, and there are not going to be any tax returns for us next year.

    I was coming this July to my little heaven in Catskills, knowing that this  was to be the last time.

    As my stay here began nearing the end (this Sunday we are leaving), I began to be more and more upset.

    I was trying to imagine a summer with no dacha or summer camp:

    My son would have to tag along to my work (and I work all over the city) every day. Of course, he would practice reading in Russian on the subway, and then quietly play his DS while I work, and then we would visit our park in the evening.

    On weekends, we could go to beaches on Brighton Beach, Long Island or Staten Island. It would be hot, and the water would be cold and dirty…

    It would be a very lonely summer for him (all his friends are going to be away on dachas and in camps, but life is life, right?

    I thought about getting a dog to brighten his days, but how would we take a puppy to my work? – Scratch that…

    Last night, thinking of all that, I could not sleep, so I went out on my porch to have a cigarette.

    The lake at dawn was simmering, birds were having a big breakfast, while chirping away, and the beauty of all that was breath-taking.

    IMG_0145

    “I cannot give this up”, I thought. “In fact, for years now my brain has been working over-time to find a way for me to live like that a year round.

    This dacha is taylor-made for me by God: I’ve got the best view of the lake from my porch. I have a deck to do my yoga on. I can go for a swim without taking even a towel with me – my cottage is 25 feet from the incredible pristine spring water of this lake. People are great. My friends from NYC live on dachas a walking distance away. If I need company, it’s here; if I need solitude, I have it. I can work here. I have internet, and my cell is working here, so I can network and take orders.

    And only $3,000 stand between this, and a 2-months torture for me and my son. This is not a big money. $3,000 can buy 10 days on Bagamas, 1 week of skiing in Catskills, or 1 month here. I am certain that just like God found this perfect place for me, He can find this money for me too.”

    I prayed, and peace came upon me. That minute I knew, that I should leave a deposit for the next year. My Universe is kind. It knows no recessions, and is always ready to supply all my needs. This is what I beleve, and this is what I shall have.IMG_0194

    Posted in enlightenment, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

    ABOUT HAPPINESS

    Posted by Ella Moss on June 1, 2009

    I’ve been pondering lately about happiness. Every human being wants this elusive state of existence. A few get it, but only for a short time. The rest of our lives we spent waiting for it, working for it, chasing it…

    Literal translation of the word “happiness” from Russian (my native language) into English means “bringing all parts together”. Happiness is so elusive a state because there are so many parts to it: physical well-being, material well-being, emotional well-being and spiritual well-being.

    Having it all at once is truly rare. That is because we are complex beings, consisting of Spirit, ego (self, persona), and physical body. Satisfying all 3 is not easy, as often their needs are contradictory, or, at, least, they appear to be so.

    I’d say, much in life that we take for granted as a fact is a mere appearance of such, while the true reality is missing from the view. It is as if we are looking at life through a rear view mirror. Some objects may be closer than they seem, and some we may miss entirely as there is a blind spot.

    This rear-view mirror is our ego. It is an intricate magic mirror that is alive like everything else in the Universe, and it is colored with many unique qualities, characteristics and sensitivities it has been endowed since birth.

    Yet, as our Spirit peers at it in order to gauge the Earthly reality, It forgets that the ego is just a reflection. Like Alice in Wonder Land, it steps into the mirrored reality and assumes that the reflected world is the real one.

    But a mirror is a mirror is a mirror. What appears to be far, is actually near and vice versa sometimes. Right is left, and left is right. God appears beyond reach, while He is The Nearest. Many imagine Him as an unseen yet omniscient Big Brother or an Administrator, whose favor we must earn. Some don’t feel worthy of His favor and don’t even bother asking. Some deny His existence altogether.

    Yet God is the key ingredient of our happiness. Spiritual well-being is not possible without Him, because He is the Spirit. Denying God, or, at least, His Presence, is denying our own true nature.

    Yes, I am blessed knowing Him (or Her – it’s the same), that is why I feel competent writing about Him. Long ago, when I was a 13 y.o. unhappy young girl looking for a meaning of life, God came into my life through series of revelations and never left. Or, rather, I’ve spotted Him in the rear-view mirror and never took my eyes off Him.

    I still remember how the world felt without His Presence: it was a lonely, unkind, cold place, full of lonely scared people. My Spirit, like theirs, looked at the magic mirror of the Ego and did not see Itself. It saw existence which was virtually pointless, as it’s true nature was missing from the view. The Ego saw itself totally disconnected from the rest of the world. It was tiny and insignificant, helpless and terrified – like a 3 y.o. who was suddenly orphaned.

    Many spiritual books we read say that we should deny our Ego (the little self) in order to achieve the spiritual well-being.

    But our magic mirror is alive and it is a part of us on the Earthly plane. So, if we deny it, we deny any possibility of happiness to ourselves just as much as when we forget the Spirit, while staring into it without seeing.

    So we should comfort our Ego as well. We cannot truly be whole, if we deny any part of ourselves. We cannot truly express our nature, which is LOVE, if we don’t love ourselves. If you saw a 3 y.o lost, hungry, cold, scared and crying, would not you take care of that child? That is what you should do for yourself too: comfort yourself. You are the Spirit first. As such, you are part of God. As part of God, you are The Mother and Father to all creation, including your Ego (your persona, that has a gender, name and various other characteristics).

    On the other hand, if a 3 y.o. is not satisfied with a scoop of ice-cream, a toy, and a new jacket you gave him, but, instead, drops on the floor, screaming and crying, because he wants all the ice-cream in the store, all the toys in the store, and a fur-coat off another child’s back, would you give in to his demands?

    No? But many of us work hard for a second house, a third car, a tenth pair of pants, etc..

    In fact, the books like “The Secret”, “The Power of Attraction”, etc. that promise prosperity to all who reads them are flying off the shelves.

    Then, of course, there are some of us who practice “tough love”. Such people would leave that screaming brat on the floor and just leave for some ascetic Spartan existence off the electric grid. That works too: their Ego sobers up as quickly as any 3 y.o. would and starts dreaming instead of such simple pleasures as taking a bath once in a while.

    I, personally, believe in balanced mothering: I tell my Ego, “I love you, darling, but I don’t want you to get sick from eating so much ice-cream. Not to mention, that you would become too fat to get into a nice little life I have created just for you.”

    You would be surprised by how well Ego listens if you talk to it lovingly but firmly.

    As a young child, I lived in an orphanage, because my parents were too busy divorcing each other. There was no one to parent me but me.

    When I was 5 y.o., I did something I was strictly forbidden to do: I hid behind the large book-shelves standing by the wall. I did not know that the book-shelves were hiding steaming-hot radiators. I touched a radiator with the back of my hand and burned it immediately. In pain, I looked at my hand and saw the skin popping up like little red balloons.

    I could not scream in fear of being punished, so instead I told myself firmly: “The pain should go away now and the skin must return back to normal.” And it did. Immediately.

    Of course, if I knew it was the 2nd degree burn, and all its serious consequences, it would not have worked so well. That is why now I have much harder time curing myself: my Ego is much more educated now.

    But it still listens to me, as it trusts my parenting. I am a kind, loving parent to myself. Sometimes, I can even be indulgent. But I know where to draw the line. Most importantly, I know how to talk to my self.

    For example, I never say, “This person/ situation annoys me”. Instead, I say, “I am annoyed at this person / situation.” That is because I have no control over another person. I can only control myself. So if I am annoyed to the point that my Divine nature gets obscured in the magic mirror of the Ego, I can stop being annoyed. I know my Ego has other qualities besides annoyance. So why should I live in a raffled reality? I can tell my self to be patient instead. And I reward my self  for consequent patience by focusing on something pleasant. For example, if I get annoyed at my 8 y.o. son and summon patience instead of annoyance, I reward my self by concentrating on how pleasant it is hugging my son. Immediately, all I feel is calm, joy, and whole a lot of love.

    Of course, like everyone, I can be overcome with anger. My Ego may feel belittled or threatened, and it may take a while for my Spirit to gain control back. But I always know I will. Because I keep reminding my self that no one has such control over me that he/ she can make me angry. I am the one who got anger, and I am the one who can get rid off it.

    Of course, if I consistently get angry at the same person, I should do my best to avoid that person as much as possible. Why should I destroy my body by consistently filling it with such strong negative emotions? I’d rather make that person much less visible in the rear-view mirror of my reality.

    I also don’t think that it is beneath me to ask for help when I am overcome with negativity. God is the Parent of me the Spirit, and I know He is always there to help

    like any good parent (and He is the best). Forgiveness is such a good antidote to anger, that I always ask for more. In reality, the way I see it, forgiveness is one of the important ingredients for emotional well-being.

    Another important ingredient is kindness. The existence on the Earthly plane is not an easy one. So everyone here deserves kindness: rich and poor, villains and victims, for there is no one without a serious challenge to overcome. As the preacher in my church once said, “Kindness and kindred have the same root”. We all are kindred spirits in the mirrored wonder land. In the true reality of Spirit (remember that all you see is but a reflection in your Ego’s eyes), Giving is Receiving and vice versa. Because when we give without strings attached, just because we want to, we are enriched by the sense of well-being so much more than the person on the receiving end. In other words, when we give freely, we feed the Spirit; when we receive, we feed the Ego. Blessed be those who receive, for they give pleasure of kindness to others at their own expense.

    How is that, you may ask, that the Mother Theresa, who dedicated herself to kindness was so perpetually depressed according to her diaries, if giving is supposed to make one feel good? Well, according to her diaries, she was not giving from her heart out of pure desire to help out. The string that she attached to her kindness was the reward of God’s presence. In her mind, she stroke a bargain:  she would serve God as He asked, and he would extricate her from loneliness by His sweet presence. But God does not bargain, and when we are  kind out of sense of duty, giving becomes a chore.

    Those who are truly kind live in a kinder Universe, because the world we see is the reflection in the magic mirror of the Ego. So when we are truly kind, our kindness is reflected back to us through kindness of others to ourselves. The trick is not to expect that kindness back. If you don’t feel like giving –don’t!

    One should be kind to the Ego too. Sometimes, when you REALLY like that blouse in a store window, you should give your self the pleasure of wearing it, even if you have to buy it with your rent money.

    In fact, when you do so, while putting your rent-payment worries aside for a moment, you show your self that you trust the Universe enough to take care of your necessities.

    Since the Ego is just a mirror (albeit the magic one), suddenly you would see a kinder Universe. For instance, you may scratch a lottery ticket and win for the first time, or IRS may discover that it owes you money – just enough to cover your rent. So enjoy that blouse!

    Just don’t go overboard. Those Egos that are spoiled rotten can create a real mess out of your life. Treat your self as another child of yours. Every child needs and deserves love, care and discipline.

    This brings me to another ingredient for happiness: loving one another. How does that relate to happiness?

    Well, anyone who loves his child would tell you: there is no greater happiness. That is because we love our kids with no strings attached. When we make them happy, our hearts light up no less than theirs. Since they are born, we take care of their needs and do so freely. We truly don’t expect the same of them (could a baby bring you a glass of warm milk when you feel under the weather?). We celebrate the smallest of their achievements (she said her first word!!! / he actually grabbed a toy!!! he skied down the green slope on his own!!!) with more pride and joy that we could possibly do our own.

    Imagine loving someone else (not your child) in the same way. That someone else would make you just as happy.

    Unfortunately, that is a tall order. We don’t even love our dearest friends that much, because we expect something in return. Our Egos are babies that we carry inside, and they are so worried that there would be no one to care for them when they need to, because God is not reflected by their mirrors. He is obscured by the blind spot.

    So we should remind our selves on daily basis, that we are His creations, and, if we manage to love our creations (our children, art projects, businesses, etc.) so much, imagine how much greater His love is for us!

    So we may stop littering the Universe with our fears and worries, anger and resentment, which are invariably get reflected back to us via the mirrors of selves as bad situations, illnesses, pollution, global warming, economic collapses. We have to take a leap of faith and trust the unseen God to take care of us. We are not lost. God is always here, and we are so dear to Him. Every normal mother runs to her baby when he screams for her. Scream for God, and He would appear in your mirror. Then grab on to Him and don’t let go. Then your magic mirror would reflect you in God’s arms and nothing would be all that scary any more.

    When you are no longer scared, it is so much easier to be kind and give from your heart. When you discover your kindness, the Universe reflects it back giving you even more joy. Little by little, you begin to realize how beautiful and precious this life is. It is no longer a scary lonely place. Happiness begins to be reflected everywhere, and it becomes easier and easier to catch its glimpse.

    One just needs to adjust the focus of the Ego’s magic mirror. The problem is, the Spirit (the Divine part of ourselves) knows only immediate present, while the Ego can typically see only the past or the future. That’s why God falls into its blind spot – God is always present in the most immediate way! But we can train the Ego to focus on the present. We can stop for a second and really smell the flowers, experiencing them as fully as possible.

    We can snuggle next to our loved one and enjoy that feeling of closeness if just for a second without any comments inside the head.

    When we focus on the future, we invariably worry. Worries cloud the mirror, and all we begin to see is monsters.

    Do we really need goals? Our lives go by while we strive to achieve them. When we finally do, we rarely enjoy the moment anyway, since the magic mirror of the Ego is already showing us the next one. In a sense, we spend our lives striving for something instead of living them. At the end, death evens all out anyway. As I keep telling my son:

    “Winning is far from being everything. Unless you enjoy the process, winning is worthless.” In short, you’ve got to enjoy what you do when you are doing it. That is another crucial ingredient for happiness.

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    2 MORE LIGHTS

    Posted by Ella Moss on April 20, 2009

    1.

    She was down on her luck:
    Her husband left, she was laid off.
    Then a marshal came and saw her off.
    She put her possessions in a plastic bag,
    And holding onto her son’s little hand,
    She walked off to the world’s farthest end.
    And there she found a place to laid down,
    At the very edge of the town.

    She gave her son potato chips
    (That’s all she could afford).
    Then she dag into her bag and got out her coat.
    She placed it on the ground
    (Thank God, no one was around),
    And made a pillow out of the bag.
    “Tonight we are sleeping on this magic rug”,
    She said to her child and snuggled up next to him.
    And the breeze went quiet,
    And the street light dimmed.

    She sang to her child a lullaby:
    “Shash, little baby, don’t you cry
    Jesus Christ loves you and so do I”
    Breathing in the sweet smell of his hair.
    With her heart filled with love to the brim,
    She thought, “Nothing better can be out there”
    And, thank God, it is totally free!…”

    2.

    She looked at the stars: they were many and bright,
    And she hugged her child so tender yet tight,
    As the coat lift them up to the sky.
    There an angel stopped by
    The coat and gave them the sweetest of smiles.
    He knew them by name and they talked for a while.
    Then he said, hugging the child:

    “These stars that you see are reflections of lights
    That reside within each human heart.
    By kindness of others they’re kindled this bright.
    That is where Divinity starts.
    What you see is the very image of God -
    Every human’s inherited right.
    When kindness lights up one person’s heart,
    Everyone gets a little more light.”

    And He added, while sending back
    to the ground her magic rug:
    “What you think of yourself being down on luck
    is really you giving someone a chance
    to brighten his heart with kindness for once”.

    3.

    Startled and suddenly cold, she woke up
    and saw a man standing by the bus stop.
    Let this story be truthfully told,
    he was old, decrepit, short, fat and bald.
    Their eyes’ve met, and he said with a laugh:
    “Were you waiting here all night for the bus?”
    “No. This is my place”.
    “That must be tough.
    Your hubby should get you a roof that lasts”,
    And he laughed some more, enjoying his own joke.
    “My husband left”, she said, folding her rug.
    And they went quiet, both taken back
    To the time when their hearts broke.

    His was many a year ago,
    When he and his wife fought for months in a row.
    Then he left her and his son,
    taking off after the setting Sun.

    Since life was easier with feelings gone,
    he never needed again anyone,
    and that worked out just fine.

    But now, as he looked at her boy, golden hair and all,
    he thought of his kid and felt a jolt.
    So he surprised himself with the following words:
    “Come along. I need help with my pizza place.
    And for that I would give you the room and board.
    So what do you say?”
    She said, “Yes”.

    4.

    And that is how it came to be that she got a job and a place to stay.
    And that is how it is to this day.

    She waits on his tables, she cooks and cleans.
    She is always smiling. He always looks mean.

    But he pays her cash and buys her son toys,
    And seeing them smile makes his heart leap with joy.

    5.

    Then one day he got very sick
    And spent in a hospital more than a week.
    When he came out, he told her, “I’m old.
    I can measure the rest of my life in days.
    I’ve got to put my affairs in order.
    Please, look after my place,
    While I’m gone.
    I’ve got to find my son.”

    And that’s what he did.
    He saw his son
    From across the street,
    while sitting in the van,
    Then through a hole in the fence,
    Then through a window at night.
    His son was a handsome man,
    Tall, with hair wavy and light.
    He had a wife and 2 young kids.
    He liked cars and had a tooth for sweets.
    And, as he saw his son through a window at night,
    Putting his kids to bed,
    Kissing them on the forehead,
    The old man cried.
    Then he turned around and was walking back to his van.
    That is when he heard the voice of his son:
    “Hey! What’s up with you, man?!
    You’ve been stalking me all day long!”
    “I’m sorry”, his dad said, “I was wrong.
    I was wrong leaving you and your mom
    To fend for yourselves.
    I was numb.
    I was numb all these years.
    I have wasted my life on money and stuff.
    But I’m glad you’re making alright with your life
    Right from the start.
    Remember, my son, to be kind to your wife,
    For kindness keeps the joy in your heart.
    It makes men feel better than many a dollar.
    Sometimes it requires of men real valor.
    But that’s what it takes to become a man.
    You can have no respect for yourself until then.
    And I’m sorry I was not a man enough.
    So you’d better take care of the kids and the wife.
    Don’t worry about the stuff.”
    And, swallowing tears,
    he opened the van’s door.
    “I’m sorry”, he repeated,
    “that I could not be more…
    That I was not more kind..”
    And he disappeared
    into the night.

    His son went back to the house, scratching his head:
    “What was that?!…Was it my dad?!..”
    His wife stood by the kitchen sink,
    When he asked her to fix him a drink.
    Then he saw the tiredness set in her eyes,
    And he thought of his dad telling him to be kind.
    He hugged her and kissed, and said with surprise:
    “Let me do the dishes tonight”.

    img_01811

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    MUSINGS ON HOW LIFE WORKS

    Posted by Ella Moss on September 23, 2008

    Long ago, as a young girl, I was sitting at a small Chinese restaurant in New York, waiting for my take out, when strong smell of fried rice suddenly took me 3,000 years back to a market in ancient India, where I saw myself as a girl no older than 12. I was running around with a boy just slightly older than me, while my grandmother was selling fried rice at a stall near by.

    The next picture that opened in my mind was me a bit older, with a baby in my arms. I did not know what to do with that baby. I knew though that if I were to keep it, there would be terrible repercussions for me: as an unmarried young mother, I would be sentenced to a life of a pariah and a begger.

    I climbed up a grassy hill. There was a river below, where women were washing clothes. I aimed to throw the child into the river just left of them, so the current would carry it a short distance into their arms.

    At that moment, a terrible feeling came over me that I was being watched.

    The next picture in my mind was me being taken away by several men. They were taking me to the temple, where I was to be burned to death.

    My take out was ready, and a smiling Chinese lady took me back to the 20th century.

    Five years later, I’ve met a lady who offered me and a few other women to experience a group past life regression. This was to be my very first past life regression.

    Immediately, I went back to the same short life in ancient India. The only difference this time around was that I was able to discern that the baby I gave birth to in that life was my husband now.

    I could not have guessed it before, at the Chinese restaurant, when the memory came naturally to me, because I did not meet my husband yet.

    Now I could clearly understand the karma behind our marriage: somehow, as an unwed 12 – 13 y.o. mother taken to my fiery death, I have understood that the right thing to do would have been staying with the soul that came into my life as a child no matter what misery it presented. At the same time, the soul of my then – child – now – husband obviously felt guilty for bringing me the threat of dire poverty.

    During all our lives together ever since (and I certainly remember bits and pieces of one of our other marriages at the turn of the 20th century), his soul would bring material prosperity into my life, while I would be resolved to be miserable around him but loyal nonetheless.

    My heart swelled with compassion and forgiveness for both of us.

    No more than a few weeks later, as we were celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary at the Four Seasons, my husband informed me that he took a lucrative job with another company in Atlanta, so I should prepare to move there in a few months.

    Immediately, with every cell in my body, I felt I should not follow him. No one could understand my refusal to move, not even me. Our marriage was not perfect (whose is?), but it was not bad either. I have recently opened my Manhattan Astrology School, but my income could not cover the rent. The country was in the middle of recession, so getting any job to support me was a dim prospect. I was so scared to stay in New York on my own, that I could not sleep at night. My husband, my mother-in-law, and everyone I knew urged me to follow my husband. Yet my feeling that I should stay put was stronger than any reasoning and even my own fears. So I stayed.

    Somehow, everything turned out to be just fine. I found a cheaper  apartment, which I could afford on my own, my school was becoming more and more popular, and I went on to enjoy the best 9 years of my life (so far).

    I realized that my karma with my husband dissolved the minute I have forgiven both of us.

    All circumstances in our lives are held together by the thread of Karma. When the thread disappears, so must the circumstances it supports.

    Interestingly though, my solar return for that year clearly showed my marriage going bust (Pluto right on the ascendant) and financial fears due to sudden confusion in my home and family matters (Neptune, as the ruler of the solar return chart’s fourth house, conjunct Uranus and north node in my second house of finances).

    What came first, my spiritual experiences or astrological necessity?

    About 2 years later, O.J. was arrested in connection with the murder of his wife, and my students wanted to delienate his natal chart.  I looked at it and saw that O.J. was to enjoy his golden years, which he was approaching fast. “He cannot be convicted”, I said.

    All that year, as my students were studying future forecasting techniques and horary astrology, we were examining O.J.’s charts. That’s how we knew before anyone else that he was guilty, but he would go free, and when that would happen – and then we watched the process to unfold.

    A year or 2 later, my students and I were analyzing the natal chart of Princess Diana. The chart clearly spelled that she was to die a sudden violent death because of her fame and status. A year or so later, she died just as her chart said she would.

    Through the years, many of my first time clients wondered if I was psychic (which I am not) – so accurately I was describing their lives.

    How could it be so pre-determined? When and where does our free will comes into the picture, or do we have free will at all? The more I learned astrology, the spookier it was becoming.

    Then, not so long ago, there was an incident in my life that may have had shed light on this mystery:

    My second husband asked me to accompany him on a short business trip to Brooklyn. The trip would have taken a few hours at the most. I agreed and asked my mother to look after our 3 y.o. son while we were out.

    When my mother came over, I suddenly had a de-ja vu experience, accompanied by a vague premonition and a strong feeling that I should stay home. I voiced my wish to stay, but both, my husband and my mother insisted on me going to Brooklyn. So I did.

    On the way back home, my husband and I found out that our son had a terrible  accident and lost the tip of his finger.

    I am certain that if I listened to my feeling of needing to stay home, it would not have happened. I am also certain that somehow I knew before hand about possibility of this accident, and I recognized the circumstances leading to the accident: hence the de-ja vu experience. Somehow, somewhere my soul saw the future and knew it could be averted. In other words, there were 2 or more different futures to choose from!

    While planetary transits showed that my son was in danger of an accident, there were no other strong astrological confirmations. Just as piling up sandbags on the bank of a rising river may prevent the flood, taking necessary precautions during bad astrological “weather” could have save us the grief. My only excuse for not doing my job as an astrologer for my own family is that with a young child on my hands and a business to take care of, I hardly had time to take a shower then, and astrological forecasting was the last on my mind.

    Not all astrological occurences are temporary and avoidable. I came to the firm belief that somehow we all must live out the stories told by our astrological charts, even if we manage to dissolve some of our karmas. Now that I’ve learned Vedic astrology also, I know that the planetary positions at the time and place of my birth required for me to have 2 marriages in this life-time, so my first marriage had to dissolve somehow. Dissolving a karma with it was simply a blessing that came along.

    If my son’s maiming was dictated by karma, his natal chart would have showed it, and his accident would not have been avoidable, so the feeling that I should stay home with him would have been useless and would not have come. But his chart does not show it, so his finger grew back and is now perfectly normal. We were simply caught in astrological “bad weather” without “an umbrella”.

    So we can change our future, as long as the life story written in our natal chart does not change radically. We always have a number of possibilities within our life stories to choose from.

    The possibilities are not limitless, however. Our life stories unfold according to the plot which is, literally, written in the stars. The picture of the sky above the place of birth at the time of birth is the plot. Not only it tells us what a particular life is about, it also contains the timing of major occurences, which can be read through astrological forecasting techniques.

    Our personal Karma wrote the plot by choosing our parents and the time and place of birth, and then it filled the story line with major and supporting characters.

    But we can change props, decorations and even whole scenes, as we play out our life stories. We can change the flavor of the life story into melodrama, comedy or tragedy, as we develop the central characters of our life stories – our selves.

    So O.J. did not have to play Otello. He could have weathered the temporary storm of his life in some other way. He still would have spent a great deal of that year either in jail or in a hospital, his relationship problems of that time would have left him emotionally jarred, etc.. But he could have changed the main scene of his life story at its core.

    On the other hand, Princess Di would still have died in a sudden violent manner, as her Pluto – Uranus – Mars – North Node conjunction  in the 8th house (the sudden explosion of violence brought on by other people) was opposing the Moon in the 2nd house (her body).  With Pluto being the ruler of her 11th house of recognition, fame would be the most likely culprit. But the circumstances of her death might have been different.

    The scripts of our lives are not written word per word. They do not describe our actions. They only describe the general direction of where we are going and what we are most likely to see on the way, like a tourist guide.

    In fact, we are like tourists in a country of life. We have our itineraries that we cannot easily change (but it is also possible – God creates the world anew each moment). We also have certain tourist attractions marked as “must see” on the tour. But we still may skip some of them and choose other “attractions” to visit instead. We cannot choose a different country (i.e. a life), once we subscribed for the tour, and we should not quit on a whim (i.e. commit suicide).

    Over the years, as more of my other past lives were coming into the view of my present consciousness, I became a certified hypnotherapist and regressed many other people into their past lives. I have seen Karma in action, and that, coupled with my experience as an astrologer, gave me a good overview on Maya mechanics. One of the spiritual laws I have learned dictates that people who commit suicide are to have the following life much harsher than the one they quit.

    So don’t be a quitter. If it rains astrologicals stones, find cover and work on your spiritual abilities to change the scene you dislike. In fact, there is no better time to turn on the Divine Light in your life then when the circumstances darken. As one of my clients once said to me, when I was predicting tough times ahead for her, “I love tough times. They are times of spiritual renewal.”

    According to Swami Sri Yukteswar, the guru of much more famous Paramahansa Yogonanda, we are now living at the very dawn of Dwapara Yuga. In the next millenium, we are to acquire enough of spiritual light in our lives to banish the very idea of total darkeness. Meanwhile, however, we can still acquire “Grace credits” with the ease of “Kali Yuga residents”, as many of us were born right on the cusp of times.So we are very lucky “life tourists” indeed.

    What that means is that the present life is crucial to our spiritual development, and we need to let as much of spiritual life into our lives as possible. This means that mankind may experience some astrological rain of stones, so we forced to turn on the Divine Light.

    I believe that such rain is coming next year, with 2010 being the toughest, and I plan to explore this “rain of stones” in my next article.

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    SERENDIPITY

    Posted by Ella Moss on August 22, 2008

    On my way to work this morning, the train conductor kept wishing us “Great day, and exciting weekend.” Rarely subway conductors wish us that to begin with. But this guy has also put so much heart into these words, that there were no doubts he meant it. He made me believe it.
    As I walked into the office, I’ve noticed a lady in her late 40s – early 50s. She was tastefully and comfortably dressed, her blond hair was framing perfectly her attractive face, but, most importantly, she was glowing with such inner joy and happiness that is rarely seen.
    As we started talking, she revealed that she and her daughter both got admitted to a nursing program at college.
    - But you are a court reporter!, – I said in surprise, pointing to the court reporters’ equipment standing next to her.
    Court reporting is tough but a very well-paid profession. Nursing is tougher, yet pays much less.
    She revealed that her son is a marine, who went through 2 tours in Iraq.
    - I just wanted to do something for the boys, – she said.
    For a year, she worked at a field hospital as a nursing aid.
    - It is unbelievably tough. Every morning I would have to pray for strength and courage just to walk through the door. But then, helping all those boys was so gratifying and humbling, – she said, and her face lit up with inner light.
    In order to get into the program, she had to take college physics course (which was actually course on quantum mechanics) and few other very tough courses, that she barely passed despite studying very hard. Let’s not forget that this single mother of three was also working to make a living and stressing out, worrying for her son in Iraq, at that time.
    Needless to say I was impressed.
    - I don’t know how you did it. I have a 7 y.o.. I can only imagine what you have went through with your son out there in the middle of the war.
    - I was so worried, I could not eat. I was like a stick. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. And then, one day, I said, “God, I cannot take it no more. I am going let you to take care of everything.”
    And, you know, I immediately felt lighter and knew that everything is going to be alright. And it did!
    My son is back in one piece, and he has no more tours – although he’s unhappy about it. Once a marine, is always a marine. But he is going to be fine, once he adjusts to civilian life. You know, once you ask God to take care of you, you have nothing to worry about.
    - I know what you mean. I also went through very tough times a few months back. And, like you, at some point, I’ve just thrown my hands and asked God to take care of me and my son because I no longer could, and He did!
    I’ve told her the story how I lost my major client, which effectively placed my tiny business on life support.
    -Wait a minute, -she said, examining my face closely. – Ella Moss?! Are you Ella Moss?!
    -Yes, – I said sheepishly. And then.. – Jacky?!…
    Yes, this wonderful, glowing, brave lady was the one who actually helped me to establish my present business when I was pregnant and was looking for a way of making a living other than astrology and past lives regressions…
    Wow! The conductor was not kidding!

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    Of God and Her

    Posted by Ella Moss on August 5, 2008

    She was a daughter, a wife, and a mother

    She was a sister, an aunt and a friend

    She always took time to care, to bother -

    Since she did not know where Love ends.

    And how it happened, no one really knows -

    But she found herself carrying the world.

    She stepped really slow, she bent really low

    Under the weight of her load.

    God looked, and he saw: her shoulders were tiny!

    And he asked, “Why are you carrying this?”

    “I’m afraid it’d fall and break like china.

    Would you strengthen my shoulders and knees?”

    “My darling, I think, I would rather

    Help you carry the world instead. I’m like you:

    I am the Mother, the Father, the Brother,

    And I know what Love can do.”

    And so He did. And, with Her smile found,

    She brightened and asked, “Where are we going, God?”

    “I don’t know – Love is so round.

    But don’t worry, I will be your guide.”

    …

    So off they went. And, while the Sun still shone,

    God said, “I’ve taught all my children the same:

    ‘Love one another’. I wrote it in stone.

    But they continue to kill and mame

    each other – all in my name!”

    She sighted, “I know, my dear, I know..

    But you’ve got to keep faith. They will grow.

    They will mature, and help us along.

    It’s not easy sometimes to see right from wrong.

    Love is round. It always come back to the Heart,

    From which It came forth. But the journey is hard.”

    “My children are crying. They scream, ‘Drop the World!

    Let’s pieces fall where they may!’

    Life is round. A sword would come back to a sword.

    Blood and tears are staining the way.”

    “If you drop it, then I will fall to my knees

    And collect it all back, piece by piece, piece by piece!

    I’ll be stitching it back for as long as I breathe!

    Every leaf, every blade, every petal and bug,

    Every smile, every tear – I’d put it right back!”

    “I know, my darling,” He sighted and smiled,

    “That’s why I still carry it mile after mile.”

    So they kept on going: age after age, page after page

    And the Sun still shone.

    .2.

    They carried the world mile after mile,

    Tear after tear, and smile after smile

    For a very long while.

    She bathed, fed and clothed the world,

    She healed its wounds and soothed its pain

    Through sleed and snow, and rain.

    And the world grew. And she grew old.

    And one of those days, she turns to God and says,

    “I am tired. I want to go to Heaven.”

    God was taken aback: “But you’re there, my lady!

    I’ve been with you every step of the way!

    I was giving you water, food and clothes each day.

    Over clouds, I strewed silver lining.

    I lit the stars, and kept the Sun shining.

    And I kissed all your tears away.

    Heaven is where Love finds its way.”

    Now it was Her turn to be shocked:

    “If Heaven’s that hard, then what is Hell?!”

    God sighted, and all went dark.

    And the world fell.

    She tried to break its fall but missed.

    She fell too, and was badly hurt.

    All around Her lay what was left of the world:

    a screaming piece, a silent piece, a crying piece…

    She blamed God, but He was not around to bear shame.

    The Darkness around remained the same.

    In this crying darkness, she lay – all alone,

    Waiting for life to end.

    And she thought of the times when the Sun still shone,

    And God was Her very best Friend.

    She imagined Him near, oh, so dear,

    And she quietly moaned:

    “Now I know what Hell is.

    Get me out, God! Help! Please!”

    …

    Right away she saw a sliver of light,

    And She knew that all was to be alright.

    …

    God was back. He hugged her and kissed.

    “Where were you,” He said, “You were sorely missed!

    Please, my love, don’t do that again!

    When you think I am gone, I shut out in pain.

    Tears cover my eyes like terrestial rain

    And, becoming virtually blind,

    I cann’t find you until you scream in your mind!”

    She looked in His eyes, and she knew it was true.

    “I promise,” She said, “to be always with you!

    Every thought, every moment, every step of the way!”

    He brightened: “My child, let’s go and play!”

    …

    Suddenly feeling light like a bug,

    She gave God a smooch and a hug,

    She laughed, and she ran

    Playing catch with the Sun

    Together with God, her very best Friend,

    Through flowery meadows, wind in Her hair,

    And a shiny new world at the palm of her hand.

    The Not End

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