Zodiac Times

God measures our time by Zodiac Clock. I am an astrologer. I know how to read God's clock. But it is my business what I do with my alotted time. This is my spiritual journey.

Posts Tagged ‘worry’

SHRINKING DOLLARS

Posted by Ella Moss on June 25, 2010

A few days ago a friend of mine confided that she did not have a raise in 10 years, and now her company is cutting her hours.
My friend is a physical therapist.
I am an owner of a tiny business in a completely different field. My income is neither wages nor salary. It is the net profit from my business. Yet I have the same predicament. My income remained flat for 12 years.
When I was single, living in a posh building in a posh part of town and paying $900 in monthly rent, which included utilities, that was a pretty good income, and I was certainly a middle class girl.
Moreover, my income increased steadily through the nineties, and I was certain of a decent future for myself.
I was so certain, in fact, that I did not bother to save for a rainy day.
I did whole a lot of traveling, skiing, and other fun things.
Then I got married, had a kid, moved to a cheaper part of town where I got an apartment twice as big for monthly rent just a bit higher than my previous digs.
My income remained the same because my subcontractors kept raising their rates but my clients began to cheapen out. Excuses were understandable: we did have a recession in 2000, then in 2001 (“9/11″), then in 2003, etc.
I probably could get out of my shell and get more clients to increase my income, but my kid and failing marriage kept me busy.
Then in the fall of 2007 I finally became a single mom, and 2 months later the FINANCIAL CRISIS hit me (my business is closely related to the insurance industry so I’ve experienced the crisis long before the rest of America did).
In 2008, my income went down significantly. So now I had no choice and got out of my shell, and got myself many more clients. I have also reduced rates of my subcontractors.
Yet my income did not jump. It simply went back to the pre-crisis level, because I had to cut my rates also. Everyone is in the bind.
I am not even talking about payment time-table that is now 4 times as long. Before the crisis, if a company took 2 months or longer to pay, I was on their case already. Now I don’t even bother with inquiries till 4 months past due.
It is my flat income that gets me, because my life is twice as expensive now. My rent now is $1510/mo, plus utilities that are twice what they used to be in 2000. My ground phone line that I use for fax only is also twice of what it used to be in 2000. So is my transportation expense, internet, my cell phones, etc.
My monthly grocery bill has grown now more than twice, even though my son and I eat much less than my ex (it used to be that half of my monthly grocery budget went to his propitiation).
In other words, it takes now twice the amount of dollars to cover living expenses, and they say there is no inflation.
There is no inflation, because our incomes have deflated.
It used to be that incomes would grow almost at the same rate as inflation of overall prices. It was called inflation, and was supposed to be a bad thing for economy.
Now I miss inflation. Because the value of my dollar has shrank 50% or more, but I don’t have more paper in my wallet to make up the lost value. My paper income remains flat, but the real income has shrank.
I am no longer a middle class girl, I am a working poor one, and my future looks pretty bleak. I have no extra dollar to save, I have no pension coming, and as an entrepreneur I have no other safety nets like unemployment benefits, which my ex is enjoying now.
Instead, I am working 3 times as much as I used to, and spend so much more just to get the same shrinking dollar.
I would not be writing about it, if it was just my predicament. I am writing about it, because 90% of Americans are in this shrinking boat.
Even the super-rich (like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates) have lost some dollar value thanks to real estate and stock market deflation. I am sure though that they are offsetting their rising living expense by paying less those who work for them or do business with them.
The simply rich (like Donald Trump) may actually feel much poorer because they lost just as much on stock market, real estate, Bernie Madoff and their leverage in reducing cost of business / living is not as great.
The upper middle class is now, for most part, is what middle class used to be, for the same reason.
Middle class… What middle class? Unless you are a civil servant, you would no longer fit that category. I bet your 401K keeps you awake at night.
There are so many things that went wrong for the dollar that there are not enough fingers on a hand to point them all out: derivatives, run-away credit, the cost of oil, global labor market…
Honestly, it is the global labor market that is the main culprit in stagnation of American income. But that is 10,000lbs gorilla in the room that no one is talking about. Trust me, immigration is the least of our problem. It is competition with the guys safely in their native third world countries that is doing us in. No one is talking about it on CNN, because business is happy with reduced labor costs. Except that most businesspeople don’t realize yet that spending their dollars in China or Africa shrinks consumption in America, which, inevitably, leads to their profit remaining flat too despite the reduced labor costs.
Simple economy101: wealth is produced where goods are produced.
The great minds who decided to open the labor market in 1990s must have thought as follows:
As other countries get richer, there are going to be more markets for American goods, so America would get richer too.
They did not take in consideration, however, that American production would not be able to compete with cheaper labor costs elsewhere and would shut down, impoverishing our country for the sake of China, Uganda and so on.
The only reason we did not feel the pinch right away was the inflated real estate market that was still producing local wealth. With wind taken out of real estate, we are finally facing reality.
And, since Obama Administration was not able to push through another emergency unemployment benefits bill, we soon are going to see the third world reality right here at home.
These changes cannot really be amended anymore. With the advent of the internet, Jinny of American wealth has completely left the bottle and cannot be re-captured. We are looking at the dawn of new world, where Russia (the richest country in natural resources), China (the richest country in labor resources) and India (the richest country in intellectual resources) are going to compete for new super-power title (my money is on China, since it is much more organized); the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia and Brazil are going to be the second world, and the rest remain in the 3rd place. The jury is out on Arab countries rich with oil. If the green economy takes hold, they are going to be pushed back into the third world. They may also simply kill themselves with suicide bombers, expanded Taliban, etc.
SO, PLEASE, AMERICA, BUY AMERICAN PRODUCTS AND USE LOCAL SERVICES!
But, then, again, who can afford American products now when American dollar has shrunk so much…
Well, I am griping now, yet I know there is going to be more to gripe about a month from now… Read my previous article on that.

Posted in American economy, FINANCES, economy, global economy, labor market, personal finance, predictions | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

FLYING P.I.G.S., ETC.

Posted by Ella Moss on February 27, 2010

In my previous articles Financial Crisis: It’s Not Over Until It’s Over and More on the Great Financial Disaster of 2010, I’ve predicted 2010 being an interesting year that would go down in history as the year when the world we have known since the industrial revolution finally bursts its tires. We are already seeing pigs fly (these “pigs”, of course, being Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain). Italian finances have also been questioned recently. I doubt that Germany, France and Great Britain can bail out the rest of Europe.
Don’t forget that Eastern European countries are likely to be the next pigs to fly.
What’s in it for us?
As European Union falls on its face and euro devalues to almost nothing, American exports would stall, American manufacturing would dwindle to its lowest yet, American corporations would run to hire the best and the cheapest labor force on the planet (that would be the European one), and we here are going to struggle with unemployment of such proportions that 10% would seem like a reasonable figure.
We are already seeing enormous inflation when it comes to basic staples of life (rent, food, transit and all kinds of insurance costs went up significantly in the past 2 years). At the same time we are seeing deflation of real estate, clothing, furniture, electronics and luxury goods. These trends are likely to continue.
I really feel for Obama Administration and sincerely pray for them every day. This administration inherited the crisises created by the previous administration. These crisises are as grave as they come.
On top of it, the people who created these problems are trying to undermine Obama at every turn – just because he is not a republican.
Bill Clinton had to endure the republican ire too, and for the same reason – he was not a republican. Remember the impeachment debacle? That was the time when I stopped watching my soap operas and turned to politics for entertainment.
What tickled me the most then was how easily Larry Flint succeeded in outing the sins of the stone throwers. Do you remember how many republicans had to resign because of their extra marital indiscretions?
The republicans did not succeed then either because Clintons bit back or because they realized that they may loose all their leaders to Flint’s private investigators.
They have succeeded though by manipulating elections of 2000. Not many know the true story behind Bush Jr.’s victory.
The story goes like this: Bush the elder brother (the governor of Florida at that time) managed to eliminate thousands of voters from the list under suspicion that they were felons. The great majority of suddenly eliminated voters (who had no idea they were eliminated) were not felons. They were simply democrats.
Then that Bush places a call to the anchor of Fox news in the middle of vote count and tells him that Bush Jr. won in Florida long before all the Floridian votes were in. That anchor calls the vote. Dan Rather, dismayed that someone else got the results before him, immediately follows the suit, and the rest of TV anchors follow him.
The rest is well known.
Bush Jr. ascends to the throne and immediately proceeds to damage his country.
His first blunder: NEGLIGENCE THAT BORDERS ON THE TREASON. He had the report about the imminent attack by Al Qaida and sat on it. Now I pass by the hole in the ground where the WTC once was almost every day and it’s still hurts.
His second blunder: destroying Iraq and millions of American families, whose loved ones went to serve his whims. Some people thought he did it for oil. But he was too stupid to see that far. I’m certain he did it to show his daddy that he could do better.
To me, that’s treason. But democrats, spineless without Clintons, thought better of impeaching him and suing him as a war criminal that he was.
In a sense, their meekness enabled him to put everything in place in order to destroy global economy. Actually, he did not do it. He did nothing, and allowed his fellow republicans to deregulate all they could and for their greed to take over.
America voted for him in 2004, because people were running scared of terrorism and wanted guys toting guns in the helm. They did not trust John Kerry, a decorated Vietnam war hero, to tote the gun at spooky Arabs, because they believed the “swift boat” ads and mistook his dignified silence for weakness.
Instead, they voted for a guy, whose family was tight with those Arabs, and who lied and bought out of the service to his country during that long bad war.
Perhaps, because next to him stood big dick Cheney known for shooting ducks and people.
So republicans under his banner went ahead and destroyed the world.
They could hardly believe that they lost to Obama (THE BLACK GUY?!). They worked so hard to take Hillary out, so their man would take on the reins. They could never imagine a black guy becoming a president, so they did not bother to “swift boat” him.
They were so sure of themselves, that they gave their man Sarah Palin as a running mate.
Of course, it could have been that they secretly hated McCain too – after all, he had some friends on the other side of the isle.
So these Egotistical Vicious Ignorant Liars republicans miscalculated and got Obama + democratic congress.
And the only thing they can do now is preventing Obama to do anything he tries.
Of course, they also try to “swift boat” him in the most underhanded manner.
This is what I’ve received recently as a comment to one of my posts:
I also appreciate your work Ella and I too thought Obama was a great man in a time of peril, however I just watched a documentary called “XXXXXX”-(my editing), which I highly recommend, and it opened my eyes to the facts. Obama is worse than Bush as he has reached celebrity status and capured the hearts of millions of people but is just another puppet committing treason. I am not trying to slander anyone and again would like to praise your work Ella but think that the people NEED to know the facts of what is happening to the Government.
I bet, many people received something like this in e-mail or as a “comment”. This must be Republican way of making their disinformation “viral”.
Just recently, they tried to put Obama’s citizenship in doubt. Now they keep telling us that the stimulus did not work (well, my business is better because it DID WORKED)
Next it is going to be a rumor that he eats little white children for breakfast.
Poor Obama: he needs to fix the dirtiest mess on the planet with his hands tied by republican obstructionism and with “swift boat” mud all over his face.
So I am praying for him to succeed nonetheless, because I live in this mess and I need him to get me out of it. Don’t you?
By the way, historically (at least for the last 100 years or so), the republican administrations have lead our nation into wars and huge deficits, while democratic ones have brought us peace, prosperity and reduction in deficits.

Posted in astrology, economy, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

WATCHING NEPTUNE

Posted by Ella Moss on February 22, 2010

In the bible, The Gospel According to John opens with the powerful statement: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
If the word was a sound (“Om”?), then it was a vibration, as all sound and other waves are.
Interestingly, quantum physicists now believe that the true nature of subatomic particles is wave (vibration), and that they only appear as particles.
In fact, The Unifying Field Theory reads like scientific explanation of the nature of God and Maya. According to it, the material universe is an interconnected web of quantum waves that operate outside of time and space within the zero-point field, which is empty yet filled with more energy than all fossil fuel on Earth. This sentence translated into a “human speak” means that all our vast universe is contained within here and now that produces all energy, visible and invisible – i.e. GOD.
Well, does it sound to you like Vedic Atman or Buddhist Zen?
I am not very familiar with Buddhism, but I am a student of Vedas, which teach that Atman appears as Brahman the Creator of Universes and Maya the Illusion. In other words, Atman is the zero-point field filled with inexhaustible energy that produces quantum waves (Brahman) which appear as particles of matter (Maya).
What all this have to do with Neptune?
For us, the Divine Beings who play the game of The Reality of Life on Earth which necessitates limited consciousness, Neptune represents the archetypal idea of ONENESS, and, as such, stands as a door-way between ONENESS (zero-point field) and Maya (life as we know it). It influences the chakra of the third eye, which is our door-way into other dimensions. Have you ever noticed that right before you are about to fall asleep, a spinning wheel appears before you? That is your third-eye chakra.
If you practice dreaming according to Castaneda or astral projection, you are very familiar with it. If not, you may have childhood memories of it. Children tend to be quite aware of that threshold into sleep.
Neptune does not rule sleep, but it rules dreaming, dreams and day-dreams. That’s why people with strong Neptunian influences in their chart have such dreamy eyes.
Neptune also rules music, this international language of the soul. And what is music but vibrations of the sound waves?
Now, let’s see what else Neptune rules:
• All kinds of illusions and illusionists (magicians, movie stars, con artists, etc.). What is the Major Illusion? Maya.
• All kind of psychic experiences and psychics (mediums, clairvoyants, ghosts and ghost-busters, etc.). All these experiences necessitate tuning into finer vibrations around us, such as mental and emotional fields beyond capabilities of our 5 senses and venture into other dimensions of Maya the Illusion.
• All kinds of chemicals, drugs and narcotics and their users (chemists, pharmacists, drug-addicts, etc.). While chemists attempt to alter substances existing in nature, drug-addicts attempt to alter their conscious reality, creating their own illusion (as separate from the consensus one).
• By the way, it also rules hypnosis and hypnotists, who help their patients to alter perception of their reality or bring forgotten memories to the forefront of their conscious awareness (my forte – past life regressions, for instance).
• All kinds of infectious, hard-to-diagnose diseases, and diseases connected with liquids in our bodies, with the exception of the red cells. This covers all auto-immune diseases, since those deal with white cells.
Liquids are easy to understand: after all, this planet is named after the Greek God of sea.
Infections are the invisible interactions between our bodies. But have you ever been emotionally infected? Of course! Sometimes it was an infectious laugh, sometimes it was “the crowd rage”, etc.
• Neptune rules psychic infections too, as well as psychiatric disorders of all sorts. Many are familiar with schizophrenia, a disease that produces visual and / or audio hallucinations (illusions).
Depression is harder to grasp, yet it is the disease produced by the ego’s delusion that its owner is victimized.
• Yes, Neptune rules victimhood, pity and self-pity. These experiences are born from the illusion of separateness.

Now I want to go back for a moment to the fact that Neptune is named after the God of sea, and so it rules all kinds of liquids from water to oil, as well as people who make their living from it such as seamen and oilmen.
My favorite yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda liked to compare God to the ocean, and humans to the ocean waves (with ego being a water bubble emanating from a wave). To me it jells perfectly well with the Unifying Field Theory of the quantum physics, where ocean would be the zero-point field that emanates quantum waves, which are your basic activated energy.
Since, according to this theory and all the great mystics that ever lived, all that we sense with whatever senses are available to us is really are clusters of energy vibrating at different frequencies and directions, so are we, the humans.
When we are born into the Earth Reality, we envelope our consciousness with different energies in different combinations. Astrologers know them as combinations of astrological elements and planetary vibrations. For instance, fire element has very high frequencies, while the earth element has the lowest ones. The amount of planets in each element creates a unique field of energy that belongs to the native and creates his / her very own psychological make-up.

Why am I putting this in? Well, it appears that Neptune rules the vibratory aspect of energy – the underpinning of the veil of Maya.

• Of course, Neptune also rules mysticism and mystics – the only people known to truly pierce that veil.

As you can see, Neptune is hard to pin down. It is the underpinning of our reality, yet it is our escape hutch from it. That is why people with a heavy dose of Neptune in their chart have such a hard time with our reality.
Take a look at musicians, for instance, the greater majority of whom are heavily Neptunian: they tend to be drug-addicts with spiritual inclinations and terrible family lives. No one can even imagine them holding a corporate job, which would require a serious adjustment to consensus reality. Neptunian people are incapable of such adjustment. They all are half-way into other dimensions.
Neptunians are natural dreamers as defined by Carlos Castaneda.
He divided human stock into natural dreamers and natural stalkers.
According to him, dreamers are people who have difficulties controlling themselves as being too fluid (Neptunian realm) and, while often blind to rules and regulations of the consensus reality, are lucid in other dimensions, such as astral plan, etc.
Stalkers, on the other hand, are control freaks, who may excel at our reality, but have hard time loosing up enough to allow themselves to venture into less shaped dimensions.
However, in order to master The Game of Life on Earth, one must get very good at both, stalking and dreaming.
In fact, stalking may be the only antidote to Neptunian influences. Stalking translated into everyday language means watching. The only way humans can resist Neptunian escapism is by watching themselves.
Huh?
Yes, watching our thoughts and emotional reactions in the most non-judgmental manner is the only way we can eventually distinguish the veil of Maya and remove it.
Even dreaming (a purely Neptunian exercise) is completely worthless and extremely dangerous without stalking (i.e. exercising control via watching). Without watching it is akin drifting in a boat without ores.
As we watch ourselves in completely objective impartial manner, we can eventually distinguish incorrect thought and emotional processes, so we can stop them at their tracks the very moment they begin to arise. This would eventually free us from the grasp of ego – the ultimate illusion.
I am writing this because Neptune has been gaining in power for the past 7 years, ever since it formed mutual reception with Uranus. In March of 2011, it is going to move into Pisces, its own sign, where it would gain its ultimate strength. It will stay there throughout 2025. Unless we remain awake through watching, we may fall into drug-induced stupor, as we medicate ourselves en-balk with narcotics and pharmaceuticals, or by putting on pink glasses en-masse and talking ourselves out of solving all present and impeding crises.
Of course, there could be positive Neptunian influences, such as rise in Compassion (please, do not confuse it with pity – another side of Neptunian coin), mysticism, and, hopefully, good music. Good music is akin to nada-yoga: yoga that uses sound to heal and emancipate. Never underestimate the power of mantras. They use the power of sound vibrations to transform or lift Maya – whose very essence is vibration. Remember, subatomic particles are waves, and God began the creation with the vibrations of a sound…
My worry is that Neptune is going to rule from the ocean of Pisces, while Pluto crushes structures of our societies throughout 2024.
In other words, we are heading into 14 years of confusion and uncertainty unmatched in known history. Hold on to your seats and start WATCHING!
This is how you may fare during those long years:
If you have Pisces in the first house and Capricorn in the 11th:
There is no longer a touch of reality to the way you see yourself and your relationships. Heartbreaks are likely to linger and you may find difficulties surviving fame / infamy that may come around.
You may encounter powerful friends or join important groups along the way though.
However, your friendships may suffer as well from manipulations of others.
If you have Pisces in the second house and Capricorn in the 12th:
Loss of money may dissolve your sense of self-worth, and credit is likely to be hard to come by, yet expenses are likely to keep on mounting. You may experience profound sense of isolation or simply spent large stretches of time in isolation. But if you ponder reality during such times, you may actually come close to the truth behind it.
If you have Pisces in the third house, and Capricorn in the 1st:
While miscommunications abound, and there are consistent problems with getting around town, your mind is getting steeped in mysticism.
You are also likely to notice profound changes in yourself and your behavior. As you find your empowerment, it would affect your relationships, and you are likely to find yourself better off one way or another.
If you have Pisces in the 4th house and Capricorn in the 2nd house:
Profound changes in your income may bring about loss of home / family.
You may find yourself quite confused for a while, with no clear directions for the future and not much of a career to speak of.
Hung in there, and you may find this rootlessness liberating.
If you have Pisces in the 5th house and Capricorn in the 3rd house:
This may be your most creative streak yet. As you hone your performance and grow as a great competitor, you may also transform your thinking and touch the mystic truth.
But do take care of your body as well, and drive carefully.
If you have Pisces in the 6th house and Capricorn in the 4th house:
Hunging on to any sense of normalcy is going to be tough during these years, so do not acerbate your situation with drugs or alcohol (and you sure are to be tempted).
Your body is already going to struggle with mysterious viruses or allergies, making your employment situation more uncertain then ever.
You may find your home / family to be transformed, and career matters to be difficult.
But you should keep on looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.
If you have Pisces in the 7th house and Capricorn in the 5th house:
Heartbreaks and unrealistic relationships (if any) are likely to become a new norm during these long years. Children issues may become difficult.
However, these may be the years of profound creativity or business transformation.
Just stay away from gambling.
If you have Pisces in the 8th house and Capricorn in the 6nd house:
These are going to be the years when you should be constantly on look out for con job.
Even though you may find your health faltering and / or job situation growing increasingly difficult amidst power struggles, do not think for a minute that there is someone out there you could rely on.
Be vigilant, and you may get through barely bruised.
If you have Pisces in the 9th house and Capricorn in the 7th house:
Profound changes in your relationships affect the way you view yourself and the world in general. Everything serves to deepen your mysticism, and doors do not just open – they seem to dissolve!
If you have Pisces in the 10th house and Capricorn in the 8th house:
As you are going to drift through life with no particular direction in mind and growing more rootless by the minute, do not forget to watch out for predators. Avoid putting yourself in a position of dependency as much as you can.
Yes, there is still a great likelyhood that you are going to be bruised either physically or emotionally anyway. But if you are not going to give your power away to your offender, you are not going to get victimized.
If you have Pisces in the 11th house and Capricorn in the 9th house:
During these years it is going to be hard to see who your true friend is.
But it is up to you, if your mind is going to grow hardened with fanaticism, or you are finally going to break through the veil of Maya.
You are better off having your mystical pursuits on your own, so you don’t become prey to cult groups of any kind.
You are also better off staying closer to home during these years, and put off your pilgrimage till past 2024.
If you have Pisces in the 12th house and Capricorn in the 10th house:
You may have to fight off challenges in your career and on home turf.
But you may find time and time again the silver lining by diving into the sea of oneness and compassion.

Posted in astrology, economy, enlightenment, politics, quantum physics, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

MY KINDER UNIVERSE

Posted by Ella Moss on July 21, 2009

dacha

    When my son was 1.5 y.o., I joined the majority of Russian community in NYC and rented a “dacha” in Catskills for a summer.

    “Dachas” are cottages in a small community of summer residents, located in rural areas, often by a lake.

    The cottages offer minimal amenities. “Dachniki” must bring with them bedding, pans and pens, and everything else that would sustain them for 2 months of mostly outdoor living.

    Summers in NYC tend to be hot and humid. Working parents must either send their kids to camps or hire babysitters (could be more expensive). When kids are too young for camps, it could be especially hard on parents, as I quickly found out.

    Luckily, someone suggested a “dacha”. I packed half of my apartment and the kid, and off to the woods I went.

    Of course, I could not afford to spend the whole summer here, so we have arranged 2-weeks shifts with all the relatives we could find.

    On dachas, kids and parents enjoy the company and freedom (there is no need to watch them every second, as they play in the meadows of an enclosed community, with plenty of friendly adults seeing their every move).

    I fell in love with the lazy summer days by the lake, and could no longer contemplate a summer without dacha.

    Of course, once my son was old enough for summer camp, we cut the season to a month (arranging shifts with relatives was too complicated), and for 3 weeks in August our son would shuttle daily to Nyak from NYC, where his day camp was located.

    We could afford this kind of summer kid-care thanks to tax returns on my husband’s w-2 income. My business has been too tiny to afford anything like that.

    Even though my husband and I separated 2 yrs ago, we kept filing jointly specifically for this purpose.

    But as of this January, he has been laid off, and there are not going to be any tax returns for us next year.

    I was coming this July to my little heaven in Catskills, knowing that this  was to be the last time.

    As my stay here began nearing the end (this Sunday we are leaving), I began to be more and more upset.

    I was trying to imagine a summer with no dacha or summer camp:

    My son would have to tag along to my work (and I work all over the city) every day. Of course, he would practice reading in Russian on the subway, and then quietly play his DS while I work, and then we would visit our park in the evening.

    On weekends, we could go to beaches on Brighton Beach, Long Island or Staten Island. It would be hot, and the water would be cold and dirty…

    It would be a very lonely summer for him (all his friends are going to be away on dachas and in camps, but life is life, right?

    I thought about getting a dog to brighten his days, but how would we take a puppy to my work? – Scratch that…

    Last night, thinking of all that, I could not sleep, so I went out on my porch to have a cigarette.

    The lake at dawn was simmering, birds were having a big breakfast, while chirping away, and the beauty of all that was breath-taking.

    IMG_0145

    “I cannot give this up”, I thought. “In fact, for years now my brain has been working over-time to find a way for me to live like that a year round.

    This dacha is taylor-made for me by God: I’ve got the best view of the lake from my porch. I have a deck to do my yoga on. I can go for a swim without taking even a towel with me – my cottage is 25 feet from the incredible pristine spring water of this lake. People are great. My friends from NYC live on dachas a walking distance away. If I need company, it’s here; if I need solitude, I have it. I can work here. I have internet, and my cell is working here, so I can network and take orders.

    And only $3,000 stand between this, and a 2-months torture for me and my son. This is not a big money. $3,000 can buy 10 days on Bagamas, 1 week of skiing in Catskills, or 1 month here. I am certain that just like God found this perfect place for me, He can find this money for me too.”

    I prayed, and peace came upon me. That minute I knew, that I should leave a deposit for the next year. My Universe is kind. It knows no recessions, and is always ready to supply all my needs. This is what I beleve, and this is what I shall have.IMG_0194

    Posted in enlightenment, spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

    ABOUT HAPPINESS

    Posted by Ella Moss on June 1, 2009

    I’ve been pondering lately about happiness. Every human being wants this elusive state of existence. A few get it, but only for a short time. The rest of our lives we spent waiting for it, working for it, chasing it…

    Literal translation of the word “happiness” from Russian (my native language) into English means “bringing all parts together”. Happiness is so elusive a state because there are so many parts to it: physical well-being, material well-being, emotional well-being and spiritual well-being.

    Having it all at once is truly rare. That is because we are complex beings, consisting of Spirit, ego (self, persona), and physical body. Satisfying all 3 is not easy, as often their needs are contradictory, or, at, least, they appear to be so.

    I’d say, much in life that we take for granted as a fact is a mere appearance of such, while the true reality is missing from the view. It is as if we are looking at life through a rear view mirror. Some objects may be closer than they seem, and some we may miss entirely as there is a blind spot.

    This rear-view mirror is our ego. It is an intricate magic mirror that is alive like everything else in the Universe, and it is colored with many unique qualities, characteristics and sensitivities it has been endowed since birth.

    Yet, as our Spirit peers at it in order to gauge the Earthly reality, It forgets that the ego is just a reflection. Like Alice in Wonder Land, it steps into the mirrored reality and assumes that the reflected world is the real one.

    But a mirror is a mirror is a mirror. What appears to be far, is actually near and vice versa sometimes. Right is left, and left is right. God appears beyond reach, while He is The Nearest. Many imagine Him as an unseen yet omniscient Big Brother or an Administrator, whose favor we must earn. Some don’t feel worthy of His favor and don’t even bother asking. Some deny His existence altogether.

    Yet God is the key ingredient of our happiness. Spiritual well-being is not possible without Him, because He is the Spirit. Denying God, or, at least, His Presence, is denying our own true nature.

    Yes, I am blessed knowing Him (or Her – it’s the same), that is why I feel competent writing about Him. Long ago, when I was a 13 y.o. unhappy young girl looking for a meaning of life, God came into my life through series of revelations and never left. Or, rather, I’ve spotted Him in the rear-view mirror and never took my eyes off Him.

    I still remember how the world felt without His Presence: it was a lonely, unkind, cold place, full of lonely scared people. My Spirit, like theirs, looked at the magic mirror of the Ego and did not see Itself. It saw existence which was virtually pointless, as it’s true nature was missing from the view. The Ego saw itself totally disconnected from the rest of the world. It was tiny and insignificant, helpless and terrified – like a 3 y.o. who was suddenly orphaned.

    Many spiritual books we read say that we should deny our Ego (the little self) in order to achieve the spiritual well-being.

    But our magic mirror is alive and it is a part of us on the Earthly plane. So, if we deny it, we deny any possibility of happiness to ourselves just as much as when we forget the Spirit, while staring into it without seeing.

    So we should comfort our Ego as well. We cannot truly be whole, if we deny any part of ourselves. We cannot truly express our nature, which is LOVE, if we don’t love ourselves. If you saw a 3 y.o lost, hungry, cold, scared and crying, would not you take care of that child? That is what you should do for yourself too: comfort yourself. You are the Spirit first. As such, you are part of God. As part of God, you are The Mother and Father to all creation, including your Ego (your persona, that has a gender, name and various other characteristics).

    On the other hand, if a 3 y.o. is not satisfied with a scoop of ice-cream, a toy, and a new jacket you gave him, but, instead, drops on the floor, screaming and crying, because he wants all the ice-cream in the store, all the toys in the store, and a fur-coat off another child’s back, would you give in to his demands?

    No? But many of us work hard for a second house, a third car, a tenth pair of pants, etc..

    In fact, the books like “The Secret”, “The Power of Attraction”, etc. that promise prosperity to all who reads them are flying off the shelves.

    Then, of course, there are some of us who practice “tough love”. Such people would leave that screaming brat on the floor and just leave for some ascetic Spartan existence off the electric grid. That works too: their Ego sobers up as quickly as any 3 y.o. would and starts dreaming instead of such simple pleasures as taking a bath once in a while.

    I, personally, believe in balanced mothering: I tell my Ego, “I love you, darling, but I don’t want you to get sick from eating so much ice-cream. Not to mention, that you would become too fat to get into a nice little life I have created just for you.”

    You would be surprised by how well Ego listens if you talk to it lovingly but firmly.

    As a young child, I lived in an orphanage, because my parents were too busy divorcing each other. There was no one to parent me but me.

    When I was 5 y.o., I did something I was strictly forbidden to do: I hid behind the large book-shelves standing by the wall. I did not know that the book-shelves were hiding steaming-hot radiators. I touched a radiator with the back of my hand and burned it immediately. In pain, I looked at my hand and saw the skin popping up like little red balloons.

    I could not scream in fear of being punished, so instead I told myself firmly: “The pain should go away now and the skin must return back to normal.” And it did. Immediately.

    Of course, if I knew it was the 2nd degree burn, and all its serious consequences, it would not have worked so well. That is why now I have much harder time curing myself: my Ego is much more educated now.

    But it still listens to me, as it trusts my parenting. I am a kind, loving parent to myself. Sometimes, I can even be indulgent. But I know where to draw the line. Most importantly, I know how to talk to my self.

    For example, I never say, “This person/ situation annoys me”. Instead, I say, “I am annoyed at this person / situation.” That is because I have no control over another person. I can only control myself. So if I am annoyed to the point that my Divine nature gets obscured in the magic mirror of the Ego, I can stop being annoyed. I know my Ego has other qualities besides annoyance. So why should I live in a raffled reality? I can tell my self to be patient instead. And I reward my self  for consequent patience by focusing on something pleasant. For example, if I get annoyed at my 8 y.o. son and summon patience instead of annoyance, I reward my self by concentrating on how pleasant it is hugging my son. Immediately, all I feel is calm, joy, and whole a lot of love.

    Of course, like everyone, I can be overcome with anger. My Ego may feel belittled or threatened, and it may take a while for my Spirit to gain control back. But I always know I will. Because I keep reminding my self that no one has such control over me that he/ she can make me angry. I am the one who got anger, and I am the one who can get rid off it.

    Of course, if I consistently get angry at the same person, I should do my best to avoid that person as much as possible. Why should I destroy my body by consistently filling it with such strong negative emotions? I’d rather make that person much less visible in the rear-view mirror of my reality.

    I also don’t think that it is beneath me to ask for help when I am overcome with negativity. God is the Parent of me the Spirit, and I know He is always there to help

    like any good parent (and He is the best). Forgiveness is such a good antidote to anger, that I always ask for more. In reality, the way I see it, forgiveness is one of the important ingredients for emotional well-being.

    Another important ingredient is kindness. The existence on the Earthly plane is not an easy one. So everyone here deserves kindness: rich and poor, villains and victims, for there is no one without a serious challenge to overcome. As the preacher in my church once said, “Kindness and kindred have the same root”. We all are kindred spirits in the mirrored wonder land. In the true reality of Spirit (remember that all you see is but a reflection in your Ego’s eyes), Giving is Receiving and vice versa. Because when we give without strings attached, just because we want to, we are enriched by the sense of well-being so much more than the person on the receiving end. In other words, when we give freely, we feed the Spirit; when we receive, we feed the Ego. Blessed be those who receive, for they give pleasure of kindness to others at their own expense.

    How is that, you may ask, that the Mother Theresa, who dedicated herself to kindness was so perpetually depressed according to her diaries, if giving is supposed to make one feel good? Well, according to her diaries, she was not giving from her heart out of pure desire to help out. The string that she attached to her kindness was the reward of God’s presence. In her mind, she stroke a bargain:  she would serve God as He asked, and he would extricate her from loneliness by His sweet presence. But God does not bargain, and when we are  kind out of sense of duty, giving becomes a chore.

    Those who are truly kind live in a kinder Universe, because the world we see is the reflection in the magic mirror of the Ego. So when we are truly kind, our kindness is reflected back to us through kindness of others to ourselves. The trick is not to expect that kindness back. If you don’t feel like giving –don’t!

    One should be kind to the Ego too. Sometimes, when you REALLY like that blouse in a store window, you should give your self the pleasure of wearing it, even if you have to buy it with your rent money.

    In fact, when you do so, while putting your rent-payment worries aside for a moment, you show your self that you trust the Universe enough to take care of your necessities.

    Since the Ego is just a mirror (albeit the magic one), suddenly you would see a kinder Universe. For instance, you may scratch a lottery ticket and win for the first time, or IRS may discover that it owes you money – just enough to cover your rent. So enjoy that blouse!

    Just don’t go overboard. Those Egos that are spoiled rotten can create a real mess out of your life. Treat your self as another child of yours. Every child needs and deserves love, care and discipline.

    This brings me to another ingredient for happiness: loving one another. How does that relate to happiness?

    Well, anyone who loves his child would tell you: there is no greater happiness. That is because we love our kids with no strings attached. When we make them happy, our hearts light up no less than theirs. Since they are born, we take care of their needs and do so freely. We truly don’t expect the same of them (could a baby bring you a glass of warm milk when you feel under the weather?). We celebrate the smallest of their achievements (she said her first word!!! / he actually grabbed a toy!!! he skied down the green slope on his own!!!) with more pride and joy that we could possibly do our own.

    Imagine loving someone else (not your child) in the same way. That someone else would make you just as happy.

    Unfortunately, that is a tall order. We don’t even love our dearest friends that much, because we expect something in return. Our Egos are babies that we carry inside, and they are so worried that there would be no one to care for them when they need to, because God is not reflected by their mirrors. He is obscured by the blind spot.

    So we should remind our selves on daily basis, that we are His creations, and, if we manage to love our creations (our children, art projects, businesses, etc.) so much, imagine how much greater His love is for us!

    So we may stop littering the Universe with our fears and worries, anger and resentment, which are invariably get reflected back to us via the mirrors of selves as bad situations, illnesses, pollution, global warming, economic collapses. We have to take a leap of faith and trust the unseen God to take care of us. We are not lost. God is always here, and we are so dear to Him. Every normal mother runs to her baby when he screams for her. Scream for God, and He would appear in your mirror. Then grab on to Him and don’t let go. Then your magic mirror would reflect you in God’s arms and nothing would be all that scary any more.

    When you are no longer scared, it is so much easier to be kind and give from your heart. When you discover your kindness, the Universe reflects it back giving you even more joy. Little by little, you begin to realize how beautiful and precious this life is. It is no longer a scary lonely place. Happiness begins to be reflected everywhere, and it becomes easier and easier to catch its glimpse.

    One just needs to adjust the focus of the Ego’s magic mirror. The problem is, the Spirit (the Divine part of ourselves) knows only immediate present, while the Ego can typically see only the past or the future. That’s why God falls into its blind spot – God is always present in the most immediate way! But we can train the Ego to focus on the present. We can stop for a second and really smell the flowers, experiencing them as fully as possible.

    We can snuggle next to our loved one and enjoy that feeling of closeness if just for a second without any comments inside the head.

    When we focus on the future, we invariably worry. Worries cloud the mirror, and all we begin to see is monsters.

    Do we really need goals? Our lives go by while we strive to achieve them. When we finally do, we rarely enjoy the moment anyway, since the magic mirror of the Ego is already showing us the next one. In a sense, we spend our lives striving for something instead of living them. At the end, death evens all out anyway. As I keep telling my son:

    “Winning is far from being everything. Unless you enjoy the process, winning is worthless.” In short, you’ve got to enjoy what you do when you are doing it. That is another crucial ingredient for happiness.

    Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

    SERENDIPITY

    Posted by Ella Moss on August 22, 2008

    On my way to work this morning, the train conductor kept wishing us “Great day, and exciting weekend.” Rarely subway conductors wish us that to begin with. But this guy has also put so much heart into these words, that there were no doubts he meant it. He made me believe it.
    As I walked into the office, I’ve noticed a lady in her late 40s – early 50s. She was tastefully and comfortably dressed, her blond hair was framing perfectly her attractive face, but, most importantly, she was glowing with such inner joy and happiness that is rarely seen.
    As we started talking, she revealed that she and her daughter both got admitted to a nursing program at college.
    - But you are a court reporter!, – I said in surprise, pointing to the court reporters’ equipment standing next to her.
    Court reporting is tough but a very well-paid profession. Nursing is tougher, yet pays much less.
    She revealed that her son is a marine, who went through 2 tours in Iraq.
    - I just wanted to do something for the boys, – she said.
    For a year, she worked at a field hospital as a nursing aid.
    - It is unbelievably tough. Every morning I would have to pray for strength and courage just to walk through the door. But then, helping all those boys was so gratifying and humbling, – she said, and her face lit up with inner light.
    In order to get into the program, she had to take college physics course (which was actually course on quantum mechanics) and few other very tough courses, that she barely passed despite studying very hard. Let’s not forget that this single mother of three was also working to make a living and stressing out, worrying for her son in Iraq, at that time.
    Needless to say I was impressed.
    - I don’t know how you did it. I have a 7 y.o.. I can only imagine what you have went through with your son out there in the middle of the war.
    - I was so worried, I could not eat. I was like a stick. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. And then, one day, I said, “God, I cannot take it no more. I am going let you to take care of everything.”
    And, you know, I immediately felt lighter and knew that everything is going to be alright. And it did!
    My son is back in one piece, and he has no more tours – although he’s unhappy about it. Once a marine, is always a marine. But he is going to be fine, once he adjusts to civilian life. You know, once you ask God to take care of you, you have nothing to worry about.
    - I know what you mean. I also went through very tough times a few months back. And, like you, at some point, I’ve just thrown my hands and asked God to take care of me and my son because I no longer could, and He did!
    I’ve told her the story how I lost my major client, which effectively placed my tiny business on life support.
    -Wait a minute, -she said, examining my face closely. – Ella Moss?! Are you Ella Moss?!
    -Yes, – I said sheepishly. And then.. – Jacky?!…
    Yes, this wonderful, glowing, brave lady was the one who actually helped me to establish my present business when I was pregnant and was looking for a way of making a living other than astrology and past lives regressions…
    Wow! The conductor was not kidding!

    Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »